Alright Redneck Fuckwads, Here’s You’re Chance

The government really is out to get you! They know where you live, from deepest darkest Kingman, AZ to Unabomberville, MT. They know about your 14 automatic assault rifles, 32 shotguns, 4 Tek-9’s, the Ted Nugent signature model hunting bow with the Bo and Luke Duke Exploding Arrows, the Nazi bayonet you picked up on eBay, the tow-behind howitzer, and the anti-aircraft installment under the hay pile behind your trailer. And they know they can pry them all out of your cold, dead hand (as soon as your hand, along with the rest of your compound, stop being on fire).

The Fedrill Guvment IS using your tax dollars to eliminate the white race.
The Fedrill Guvment IS covering up the fact that they blew up the Pentagon themselves.
The Fedrill Guvment DID take Hee Haw and The A-Team off the air.

And now they’re raising Outbreak chickens in Nixon’s secret rice field plantation in Vietnam with a nasty bird flu, just so they can release it on you and make you give more money to Big Pharmaceuticals!

Well what the fuck are you gonna do about it, Jethro?

Git on your phone, horse or pick-em-up truck and get hold of all your crack-head buddies and tell ‘em to quit cooking meth and start cooking Tamiflu.
You telling me you degenerate fucks can figure out how to turn some bleach and cold medicine into speed, but you can’t figure out how to make some flu medicine?
There are 330 million Americans who want a piece of that because the Fedrill Guvment ain’t done shit to help them out—way more people than your junkie ass is normally dealing to.

So get cracking, Cracker. If not to make money, to piss off Uncle Sam. Or Big Brother.
Or whoever the fuck you’re paranoid about.