Waiting to see Star Wars, or "Why I Hate White Kids."

I got a hair up my ass yesterday to go see the new Star Wars flick at midnight. I hopped online at lunch and got a couple of tickets to the multiplex a few miles from home. This theater actually ended up doing a pretty good job. They were having somewhere around 6 showings at 12:01am. We got to the multiplex at about 9:30pm and were surprised to see that there wasn’t a huge line waiting to get in. The multiplex actually scrapped the last showings of the other movies so they could make the theaters available when people arrived for Star Wars instead of waiting outside in line. It was nice to be able to relax in the AC in a chair and there wasn’t 6 theaters worth of people in line at the snack bar a half hour before the movie started.

All in all, it made for a decent 2 and a half hour wait, if there is such thing. Except for the dozen assholes sitting in the row behind us.

Goddamn I can’t express how much I hate middle class suburban high school fucking white kids.

I’ve got about the foulest mouth of anyone I know and I’d never heard anyone modify as many words in one sentence with the word, “fuck” as these idiots were doing. If every other word out of their mouth wasn’t “like” it was probably “fuck.”

And I understand these kids were probably of a pubescent age, but from what I could hear—and I could hear everything since they shouted back and forth at one another for the better part of 3 hours—these kids had like fucking hooked fucking up with like every fucking like girl at their fucking school. I had to listen to how people with a 300 word vocabulary struggle to find the words to brag to their equally vapid friends about things that probably didn’t happen and other things that they were going to do this weekend that probably aren’t going to happen either. Oh, and as a prerequisite, every line of thought had to start off with “I was fucking wasted….”

And this went on. And on. And like fucking on.

And it burns my gut that these little Hollister and Fitch fucks are staying out ‘til 3 in the morning on a school night to watch a movie so they have an excuse to skip class or sleep through it the next day, even though it’s final’s week, because they don’t have to study to get their C- that gets them in to State college where they’ll be far away enough from mom’s house to get Nattied and 3-pump the fat co-ed in the next dorm whenever they want, but close enough to get their palm crossed with a couple of c-notes from Dad so the Doritos and weed don’t run out before they can get their degree in Business in 6 years—6 years spent still going parties attended by students at the high school they graduated from with Stewy, Dewey, Brick, Gump, and their other friends whose nicknames are derived by adding a “y” to a syllable in their last name or something/somebody that they’re barely smarter than—so that the American workforce can continue to have a fresh supply of Alpha-types to fill countless outside sales positions and bank 6 figures while doing nothing at work but kissing ass, traveling, lying, and cheating on their butterface wife with the fake rack so they can get their divorce and go live in an apartment they can barely afford while they’re supporting their two boys who are so developmentally disabled from their genetic predisposition towards utter stupidity that they grow up to continue the cycle of shallow, banal, self-gratifying existence.

Goddamn, do I fucking like hate fucking middle class fucking suburban like high school fucking white kids.